Full MOON Christmas

–

Many faces and laughter for Christmas

Those days are over for me

A piece of roast chicken, a bowl of salad and a slice of bread

Small portions of all these were what I could eat

For I have to save some room in the stomach

Yes, I also wanted a piece of cake too

No more champagne that might cause me a fatal asthma attack

A glass of apple juice sparkling from carbonation instead

–

A rare Christmas full moon outside the window

A gray cloud just moved away a little as if to unwrap a gift for me

What a beautiful gift

Its soft white light beamed directly into me

And rang a tiny bell in my heart but only for a moment

The sound was gone when a dark cloud moved in again to hide the moon

I closed my eyes to listen to the softly lingering sound of the bell

–

I suddenly knew the sound of the bell was what I have been after

I have walked a long way since I became conscious of looking for something

I remember I often heard that bell on the way

But it was always from outside and I couldn’t know

That it would be something that would sound inside me

The sound gives me the feeling that ‘I am alone but not lonely’

I can’t find a word to explain the sound but the closest one is ‘consciousness’

–

I closed my eyes tighter

I was determined to embark on another journey

No matter how far the way might be I decided to walk on

To find a way to make the bell keep sound in my heart without ceasing

And to know who rings the bell

(Dec. 2015)

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