Pain (Story Poem)

(Story Poem)

Pain

Do you know pain? No, you don’t.

Have you ever heard someone scream in pain? I mean in real pain.

I believe few people have. Pain is Hell on Earth.

 

In that kind of pain, you don’t know you are screaming.

Yet you hear your own voice from about a foot away from your head.

I was in a 1,000-bed hospital. And the medical staff in my ward later told me they’ve all heard.

 

I was hospitalized for three months last year. No treatment for the first few weeks, but tests, tests and tests.

The doctors couldn’t treat my pain until they knew exactly what was causing it.

I underwent the MRI, X-ray that took about an hour to take images, slight electric shocks, etc.

 

The doctors could not pinpoint what was wrong with me.

But the team of the doctors agreed on a diagnosis based on the data from the tests as “circumstantial evidence”.

The diagnosis was written in 14 Chinese characters none of which I could read or understand.

I could only understand I was with some sort of the artery inflammation.

In my case, the diagnosis is officially recognized as a refractory disease.

 

The excruciating pain occurred on one of those testing days. I then wished I’d rather die.

 

Even in such a pain, my mind was independently calm and clear.

What floated on the mind then was the photo of a little boy who was washed ashore dead on the Mediterranean shore.

 

The little boy was apparently on escape with his family on a crowded dinghy from the war in his country.

Due to an unexpected mishap, he must have been thrown out of the dinghy.

I couldn’t help overlapping what I was going through with the fear and pain he must have experienced.

 

Could he scream because of the fear when he was forcibly separated from his family on the swaying dinghy?

The pain he had as he approached his death was no doubt felt greater than mine to his little body.

 

Yet strangely, he looked so calm and peaceful lying on the shore.

 

I wanted to join him in whatever a world he has gone to.

“No, you can’t!” my mind immediately told myself.

“How can I?” I said to myself.

 

I have lived in this world for the past decades, shouting over the head of the weaker and flattering the stronger.

All I thought was good for myself and myself alone for making a living.

 

Whatever a world where the little boy may be frolicking now is too serene for me to join in.

I could only close my eyes and shut my mouth tightly to bear the pain.

 

The team of the doctors decided on a medication to give me on the “tentative diagnosis”.

Miraculously it worked. The pain was gone overnight.

With the absence of pain, I’ve never felt better in my life.

 

I’m at the age where I have a few more years left to live.

I stand on the crossroads where I vaguely see two alternative ways:

Will I leave this world into eternal darkness with pain?

Or will my consciousness float on in a new world without pain to meet that boy?

(AshiAkira)

About AshiAkira

AshiAkira. Author of Haiku Poems and Haiku Poems II(www.lulu.com/shop/ashi-akira/haiku-poems/paperback/product-23152158.html). Old resident of Tokyo.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Pain (Story Poem)

  1. Gallivanta says:

    I am sorry to hear you have had such terrible pain.

  2. So sorry you had to endure such pain. I’m happy you’re feeling so much better. Life can be a terrible thing, sometimes.

  3. I have had pain, but I do not believe it was as bad as the pain that you describe. So I am joyful hearing that your pain is gone. You have brightened my world, with both the happy haiku and the sad. I am glad for all you have written and that you were able to tell us all about your ordeal. God bless you.
    I know that when we believe in Jesus that we will not just drift away, but be in the presence of God for always. No pain, no sadness.

  4. Caarmel says:

    I am weeping my Tokyo friend. Weeping for you, for that little boy whose image on the tide washed shore is seared into my consciousness, for our race, our world, our uncertainty.
    You have used your particular encounter with excruciating pain to bring us into the last consciousness of a little boy who had become an icon for our collective inhumanity. Pain is not only individual, particular, it is universal. You have encapsulated that in a gentle creativity.
    We are all, rich & poor, heading for the same shore & love is our only navigation aid.
    Thank you for sending this to me. It is powerful in its stark & honest simplicity.
    Blessinga from my heart, your irish friend Carmel

  5. zdunno03 says:

    So sorry to read of your pain. Be well, dear friend.

  6. Bill Bisgood says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your tortures and so glad you found relief from them. Take care, AshiAkira

  7. I am speechless. The pain is so awful; the message so moving.

  8. titti onweb says:

    Ashi, tests, tests and tests : it’s now 20 years more or less, for me! But i always fight, trust and pray! That comes to me naturally.
    I’m closed to you!!!⭐🙏

  9. Val Boyko says:

    Thank you for sharing this anguish and your connection with the boy in the. Mediterranean. I am grateful you are still with us, and living pain free. 💕

  10. Wishing you many painfree years to come. Your ordeal moved me greatly and I am happy you are able to share it with us.

  11. gary j says:

    Dear Sir, is it possible I may become a flower, a bird, or dirt or ash. I think of you with love and respect.

  12. Forgive me , AshiAkira! I couldn ‘t imagine what happened to you! It s a good news to know you are well now! I wish you a very healthy and long life, dear AshiAkira!

  13. Lara/Trace says:

    I pray you stay pain free, my friend. Heaven awaits us all.

  14. vesna says:

    It is difficult to click a “like” to this post. I fully understand, I my self am in the age when I can only hope that my leaving will be peaceful and dignified. Good luck, Ashi Akira!

  15. Ashi this is so moving. Bearing the pain you endured and thinking of the greater pain of this little boy ! Your heart is big enough to embrace the universe !

  16. renxkyoko says:

    This rendered me speechless. I don’t know what else to say. Just this……be well, be strong, and I hope you get so much better…. and no more pain.

  17. An extraordinary reflection. You thought of others in your pain (even if they were conjured in your agonized imagination) and mused on the things we do in this world to protect ourselves (things we look back on with shame and regret). Thanks for sharing so much of yourself, it helps all of us who know you. I’m very glad you are feeling better. Don’t be in any hurry to rush off– we need your insights and beautiful verses! 👍💪😊

  18. This is such a powerful, poignant reflection, Ashi, that shows such depth and compassion for the suffering of others even in your times of excruciating pain and uncertainty. Sending you my best wishes, ❤

  19. Maansi says:

    I’m speechless! Best wishes to you.
    Please check out my first blog at: http://feelthe.poetry.blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s